Tough Love

Somewhere a long the way we heard parenting was easy. Somewhere a long the way we glamorized it in our minds of how wonderful it will be when we someday have children. Everything will be peachy keen.

Then the reality of having children is before us, whether through birthing them or adopting them. We have begun to spread our seed and multiply the earth. First of all, the cold reality of having children sets in right there in that hospital. When you've pushed for hours or have had surgery to get that sweet child out of you. Or maybe, if it was adoption, it is all of the preparation and trials and agonizing wait to finally receive the child you've dreamed of.

But adjustment says, "Hello!" before you're mentally prepared to greet them and they bring some nice surprises. Sleep deprivation, hormones, hemorrhoids, aches and pains, and a crying baby you can't ignore, or the initial bonding with your adopted children that is tougher than you thought it would be. "Oh so this is what it's really like?" But before you can even think it, post pardom demands a visit and you are left shocked to say the least. And hopefully that is the least, because it could spiral downward very fast if the enemy has his way.

Hopefully you overcome the season, and your heart makes a turn. You realize that parenting is tougher than the nice, pretty bubble you put it in. It indeed is tough and you find yourself at a place where you are faced with a choice of whether you will embrace the sacrifice you desperately wanted or not. Are you ready to be second? Are you ready to drop everything to meet their needs in the best ways possible. Are you ready for a crying child that just doesn't stop no matter what you do. Are you ready for this precious little miracle to be completely and utterly dependent on you for their well being? Are you ready? Well, the answer is that you have to be. So where do you go from here?

You embrace the challenge of sacrifice. You love that child like you were called to as the parent you have become. You meet their needs and do the best you can. Because in that moment that you chose to accept the pain of sacrifice, blessings come, and they don't stop. God blesses your choice to love that child with your whole heart. And what a blessing it is to watch them grow each and everyday. To watch such the nutshell life of a baby flourish and bring you joy each day. Joy, even when your tired and they've screamed a lot, and they poop on you and parenting shows the vulnerability both you and the baby have as you learn about each other and how to care for them properly. Joy, even in the toughest of moments.

We need to say yes to that sacrifice because someday, it's going to be harder than it was in the initial days and we will even cry (for the millionth time about our struggles) and wonder what we are to do when our tired toddler screams at us in anger, or when the 12 year old daughter finally reaches her hormonal imbalance and says things you have no idea came from, or when your even older child is deep in their own struggles and takes it out on you. And because we chose to say yes to that sacrifice long ago, God will remind us, we are humbled in our weaknesses, He makes them His strengths in us, these blessings flow, and somehow He makes a way where there seems to be no way and the light of our prayers persist in the dark situation.

Parenting is amazing. Parenting is also very hard sometimes.

I can't help but wonder just how God feels about us as His children. And how, time and time again, His patience and unconditional love flows in our every fit, tantrum, screaming, hurtful and even just stupid things we've done against Him.

Oh, how He loves us. Let us as His children embrace that love, even as parents ourselves, knowing that He designed the design of family, and let us be an example of His sacrifice and love to our own precious children. Amen.